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Thread: Venting

  1. Default Venting

    This is preaching to the choir, I know, but I have to vent.

    I am 48, and have pretty significant hearing loss. My ENT and my audiologist both think it's not noise induced loss (but I guess that's beside the point). They think I have had it most of my adult life, but was only diagnosed 5 years ago.

    Anyhow, my vent is about my family. My sister and dad both make jokes about it, calling me "grandpa" when I have trouble, making jokes "turn up your hearing aids grandpa," etc., etc. To be blunt, it's really starting to piss me off (sorry for the language). I mean, you wouldn't laugh if a blind person tripped over a chair because he couldn't see it-so why is it OK to laugh at someone who can't hear something? I've mentioned it before to them, but i still get jokes every now and them.

    Maybe I'm being thin skinned-I don't know. Still, I just needed to say that.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    Salem, Massachusetts
    Posts
    310

    Default

    Well, I've been wearing hearing aids for 45 years, and I still get the dumb jokes. I think my skin has gotten thicker over the years, because they don't bother me anymore.

    But vent away. Nobody here will mind.
    0250.Hz L-70 R-55
    0500.Hz L-75 R-65
    1000.Hz L-80 R-80
    2000.Hz L-80 R-85
    3000.Hz L-80 R-85
    4000.Hz L-80 R-80
    6000.Hz L-75 R-80
    8000.Hz L-80 R-75

    WRS:
    L 84% @ 105 dB
    R 40% @ 105 dB
    Both= 76%

    Resound Future (Costco)
    Formerly Starkey Destiny 1200

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Location
    Massachusetts USA
    Posts
    131

    Default

    Try having your loss self induced! I'm 47 years old and fell New Year's day hitting my head, knocking myself out, and dislocating the bones of the ear. Talk about jokes !

    I'm getting the "what" response a lot when I don't hear someone and have to ask them to repeat what they said. Seriously, how is that funny? I hear ya, and it sucks. Vent away!!
    Lisa,
    Audiogram:

    ...0250..0500..1000..2000..4000..6000..8000
    L...50.....35......40.....45.....40.....55.....65 Pre-Op 01/31/11
    .....50.....35......30.....40.....50.....75.....70 Post-Op 06/20/11
    .....45.....30......30.....40.....50.....75.....70 Latest 01/11/12

    R...15.....15......10......5.....10.....10.....10 06/20/11
    .....20.....15......5......10.....10.....10.....10 01/11/12

    Hearing tests are done in a sound proof booth, unfortunately life isn't lived in a sound proof booth...

  4. Default

    I only have had one person be so rude as to make a comment like that. It was right after I got my aids. I had asked him to repeat himself. After he made the comment I looked at him and said " My aids are working fine and I'm understanding everyone else just fine. Maybe if you'd learn to enunciate correctly all of us wouldn't have problems understanding you. If you need .75 for enunciate I'll give it to you." I said it loud enough that everyone in the room heard it. No one has hassled me since.
    Gadgets

    Frequency-L/R
    250-0/0, 500-20/20, 1k-10/5, 2k-10/15, 3k-40/25, 4k-60/55, 6k-60/65, 8k-60/60

    Discrimination L/dB-R/dB
    93%/55-93%/53

  5. Default

    Thank you all for the replies. If they have a problem with it, well, it's their problem.

  6. Default

    Aww I don’t know, if coming from your dad and sister, I’d say the skin is a little thin They probably don’t say it to offend you, just to tease you a little. We have to laugh at ourselves a bit sometimes. I get comments like that from my partner all the time, I just get back with ‘but you my friend are as blind as a mole’(which is almost true lol).
    ----

    ..125...250...500...1000...2000...4000...6000...80 00
    R 060...055...050....050....035....020....010....005
    L 060...055...040....050....035....015....015....020


    [Oticon RITE(RIC) Agil pro with custom micro mould, short vent]

  7. #7

    Default

    I am new to the forum and would not wish to pretend I have experience with significant hearing loss; however, it has been a problem lately and I am currently dealing with how to pay for the testing and then what I am sure will be obtaining HA's.

    As I try to express my concern and sense of loss to those close to me about my situation, as i adjust to it, they are not always receptive and it's hurtful for sure.

    Without knowing you, or how you approach life, all I can think to say is I totally get where you are coming from and see your point. Crap, it sucks when people you want comfort from, or simply to show a little compassion, try to make light of the situation.

    I do know from going through a very serious period of PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) it's very hard for outsiders to relate. Empathy--the ability for people to understand what you are painfully experiencing--is not easy for a lot of people, even for those who know you well. That's not to diminish the hurt it causes.

    The only thing which works for me with my guy friends is to sort of laugh with them too, then be completely straight with where I am at: "do you think I will be deaf by the time I am 60, will I be able to work? Will my girlfriend leave me?" That seemed to put them in a mind set that helped them better relate. LOL.

    Sorry to hear what you are going through. It sucks for sure.

    Roe

  8. Default

    Well, if it were a static thing, I might feel differently. However it appears my loss is progressive, it's hereditary, and I'm only 48 (that seems old to some, I am sure). I do worry-how am I going to work as it progresses?

    What this really does is raise some issues I have with my family, but that's a whole different can of worms.

    This also raises a more general issue. I'll admit that I am thin skinned about this-but hearing loss is a disability, and why is it OK to make fun of this disability? Like I said above, we don't laugh at a blind person when he or she trips over a chair.

    Now, these are all rhetorical questions I know, and so there's no answer.

  9. #9

    Default

    The ONLY time anyone has ever been rude enough to comment was in my THERAPIST'S office of all places. It was a few years back and I asked him to repeat himself, and he said (rather snottily) "are you wearing your hearing aids?" We parted ways after that, for many reasons.

    My family is pretty cool, probably because most of us are HOH. But I'm by far the youngest, having worn aids since age 29.
    Melissa in FL

    250---500----1000----2000----4000----8000
    30-----40------55------55--------60-------60
    (both ears fairly equal)

    Speech discrim at 55 dB L and R: 100%

  10. #10

    Default

    I’m quite a bit older than you, and have been wearing hearing aids for only 10 years, and perhaps the years have made my skin a bit thicker, but I tend to go thru life with a positive attitude and a realization that there are so many conditions in life that are much worse. You can try to educate those that make smart a$$ comments by giving them a few statistics on hearing loss; by smiling and ignoring them and saying ‘sorry I can’t hear you, my aids are only tuned in to positive frequencies’, or if you really get po’d just tell them that your disability is with your ears, theirs is between the ears , or you can try to have an honest discussion with them on how their comments affect you.
    • Approximately 17 percent (36 million) of American adults report some degree of hearing loss.
    • About 2 to 3 out of every 1,000 children in the United States are born deaf or hard-of-hearing. Nine out of every 10 children who are born deaf are born to parents who can hear.
    • approximately 15 percent (26 million) of Americans between the ages of 20 and 69 have high frequency hearing loss due to exposure to loud sounds or noise at work or in leisure activities
    250 L-50 R-30
    500 L-40 R-40
    2K L-85 R-85
    3K L-100 R-90
    4K L-95 R-85
    6K L-100 R-85
    8K L-90 R-90
    SRT: L - 65 R - 55
    Discrim: L - 36% R - 48%
    PTA: L - 60 R - 63

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