People who speak softly P*$$ ME OFF!

[BradMM]

This is a new phenomenon but I'm currently teaching a small class with only four people in a small hotel meeting room. I don't experience this normally but these people all seem to just speak softly and I'm constantly saying "HUH???" Because I don't normally experience this, I think they are responsible for the gap in communication when they've repeatedly heard me says "WHAT?" and they don't speak up. I took my wife to the doctor recently and in that little exam room the MD seemed so meek and timid that he couldn't speak to where his patient could hear him. That's unprofessional IMHO and I think people should be aware of whether they are communicating effectively or not.

(steps down from soapbox)

Originally Posted by BradMM

This is a new phenomenon but I'm currently teaching a small class with only four people in a small hotel meeting room. I don't experience this normally but these people all seem to just speak softly and I'm constantly saying "HUH???" Because I don't normally experience this, I think they are responsible for the gap in communication when they've repeatedly heard me says "WHAT?" and they don't speak up. I took my wife to the doctor recently and in that little exam room the MD seemed so meek and timid that he couldn't speak to where his patient could hear him. That's unprofessional IMHO and I think people should be aware of whether they are communicating effectively or not.

(steps down from soapbox)

While people who speak softly can definitely be frustrating...are you wearing hearing aids??? You have a moderate hearing loss which would definitely make it seem as if people who are speaking in a perfectly normal volume voice are speaking more softly then they truly are. If you are wearing hearing aids, perhaps they need to be adjusted somewhat...I have seen a lot of patients walking around on 80 and 90% of target settings complaining that people are not talking loud enough simply because their hearing aids are set too low.

Just something to think about.

[BradMM]

The reason that I'm on this forum is because I know I have hearing loss. I tried CIC's and am now waiting on BTE's so I'm not currently wearing HA's. However, my point is that, even if my hearing is not perfect, why bother talking if you're not going to make the effort to communicate with the other person. I'm not the only person with a problem in that scenario. If you keep doing the same thing over and over and expect a different result then I've got a bridge in Arizona I want to sell you! If I say "huh?" or "what" several times to the same student, shouldn't they clue in to the fact that our communication is not working and they need to stand closer, look at me when they talk, enunciate, speak louder.... do SOMETHING different???

The MD I mentioned raised his voice for about 15 seconds and then reverted to his normal voice again. My wife, who has no hearing loss I know of, couldn't hear him either. I guess people just tend to stick with what they are normally accustomed to until they have a motivating enough reason to change it.

[seb]

Brad,
You need to tell your students you have a hearing loss and they need to speak up so you can hear them. You could also tell them your HA are in for repair and without them you are having trouble hearing them and they need to speak louder. Nothing is worse than a soft talker! Good luck!

[Hask12]

Get your hearing aids and then complain. While I can sympathize with your frustration you need to meet people half way and so far you haven't done that. Most people don't care about your hearing problem, nor do they understand it. It's YOUR problem, not theirs. Went to motor vehicle a couple of years ago and the woman refused to speak up. My wife was there and she was trying to help me but this woman had the nerve to tell my wife that she was interfering. The woman standing next to her, behind the counter, even said you have to speak up dear he's hard of hearing. All to no avail. I think there should be a law that once you explain your situation and you are ignored you should be allowed to climb over the counter and strangle the person. Get your hearing aids. Then you can complain all you want, although it probably won't matter.

[BradMM]

Originally Posted by seb

Brad,
You need to tell your students you have a hearing loss and they need to speak up so you can hear them. You could also tell them your HA are in for repair and without them you are having trouble hearing them and they need to speak louder. Nothing is worse than a soft talker! Good luck!

I DID tell them that right from the beginning! I know to do that from past experience.

I told the MD the same thing but they all seem to revert to their comfort zone in short order. This causes me to have another thought... if my employer is obligated to accommodate my disability, should they provide my HA's??

I'm just blowing off steam, pay no attention!

Originally Posted by BradMM

I DID tell them that right from the beginning! I know to do that from past experience.

I told the MD the same thing but they all seem to revert to their comfort zone in short order. This causes me to have another thought... if my employer is obligated to accommodate my disability, should they provide my HA's??

I'm just blowing off steam, pay no attention!

Many states have offices of vocational rehabilitation that do provide hearing aids to those working/in search of work...I see probably 2-5 a month who get hearing aids I would normally sell at $4600/pair for nothing.

[Gittje]

Originally Posted by Hask12

Get your hearing aids. Then you can complain all you want, although it probably won't matter.

Precisely. Moreover, many people are convinced that hearing aids eliminates all hearing problems.

I tried to explain my problems to my colleagues at the office. I can't complain, they listened patiently, but that's about all

[mickeydblv]

I think it's a perception issue for those people who can't seem to speak up. I think they are the same as the folk who would talk very loudly when they have an MP3 player playing at volume.

If you were being shown a map or newspaper from a distance and you said you can't see it, they would bring it closer to you so you can see the details. When it comes to hearing though...?

There are those who appear to see themselves as calm & serene and raising a voice is neither of those attributes so they wont do it. A very powerful identity issue there - and "don't raise your voice!" can be a strong rule when growing up.

I guess many and varied are the reasons why some people wont talk with a little move vigour. They are the ones that I feel like vaulting the counter and strangling.

[Um bongo]

Originally Posted by mickeydblv

I think it's a perception issue for those people who can't seem to speak up. I think they are the same as the folk who would talk very loudly when they have an MP3 player playing at volume.

If you were being shown a map or newspaper from a distance and you said you can't see it, they would bring it closer to you so you can see the details. When it comes to hearing though...?

There are those who appear to see themselves as calm & serene and raising a voice is neither of those attributes so they wont do it. A very powerful identity issue there - and "don't raise your voice!" can be a strong rule when growing up.

I guess many and varied are the reasons why some people wont talk with a little move vigour. They are the ones that I feel like vaulting the counter and strangling.

I appreciate that there are difficulties with different voices, but blaming people for being indistinct is pretty much as close to denial as you can get. You are moving the locus of the 'fault' away from your hearing loss to other people. Is it also their fault if they talk with an accent or a speech-trait that you find difficult to understand. However, if they work in customer services, it's likely that they will have developed a level and delivery that works for 'most' people, without appearing to be too passive or aggressive.

Part of the rehabilitation of dealing with a loss is overcoming and acknowledging the effect the loss on your everyday life. Once you have moved through the denial and outrage you'll be able to be positive about dealing with your loss. Taking it out on everybody else isn't the answer: unfortunately.

Either that or you have to find the someone with a decent Baritone voice and good annunciation wherever you go